Friday, January 10, 2014

Faking Bad

I'm trying an experiment: I have an improved product and want to market it via the Internet.  Don't laugh until you hear me out.

My "product" is something I formulated for making fake spills. I developed a recipe for faking most any clear or colored liquid and semi-solid. The materials are a polymeric plastic and a secret coloring method.
The Gatsby

Aviation Cocktail


Das Lagerbier
Ice Bucket Challenge

Melting Cubism
Scotch with Rocks
Lemon Twist Martini  (frosted)

Gin & Tonic

Classic Martini

In vino vas is das?

Pogue Mahone!

Another Margarita

Bloody Mary

Margarita Time!

Heuvos (sunny side up)

Heuvos (raw)

I sometimes add trash for context. Here is an example of a liquid spill: a driveway disaster I fooled people with in my neighborhood: My neighbor actually cussed upon seeing this as he rushed back inside to get something to clean it up; the mess oozed down his driveway before he realized it was fake:

oil slick
Here is another, a ketchup spill. You can buy these on the Internet. Mine are better because I pay attention to texture. For example, spilled ketchup or mustard doesn't flow and spread like oil or water -- it's more like paste. I'm also constantly tweaking my formulas to get the colors and "look" as realistic as possible. I understand the chemistry behind these creations.

This is not an offer to sell at this point...I'm just trying to gauge interest. My goals are simple. I want to recoup investments in time and material. As a stretch goal, I'd like to make enough money to buy myself a new iPhone (I lost my other one last summer in a boating accident).

I can also do custom spills where the customer provides the container and I match the color of the spill. I can also scale-up any spill to make similar spills (but each is a snowflake!).

April Fools Day is coming sooner than you think.

More examples of spills after the jump. None of these are available, but I can make more. Please make a comment or suggestion.

Melted Freezer Pop
Beer Slob
Wine Slob

Wino Detritus
Chocolate Milk

Got Milk?

Soy Sauce
Party Down


  1. I will buy a condom with semen splooging out.

  2. May I suggest a splatter pattern (which could be left next to your computer) as stocking stuffer for that special someone next year?

  3. The ketchup looks quite tasty.

  4. The beer looks a trifle...thin, maybe?

    May I suggest a couple of youtube vids featuring pranking people with the products as a way of generating interest (as far as interest equals potential cashflow)?

    1. The foam actually has more texture than the photo does justice. I'm working on improving it to give even more. Foaming with clean, dry air at the proper consistency.

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. I'd go for a dropped egg with a cracked shell, spilled white and floating or broken yolk. I heard one drop yesterday while MrM was cooking and knew by the sound what had happened before I heard his response. The white is dickens to get up off the floor..

  7. Thanks, MamaM. You gave me ideas and a challenge.

  8. Nicely done. Especially the ketchup.

  9. Riffing off MamaM's suggestion, you could develop the entire Mother's Day Brunch Gag Collection--a couple of broken eggs for the floor, badly burnt toast along with various and sundry other stains to decorate the kitchen with!

  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  13. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  14. Please consider getting professional help, "Titus." And get over your obsession with me.

    Your friend

  15. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag kleine Huhn.

    That's how Google translate says it should go. I have no idea.

  16. Well, I feel you are sincere about this. I can only speak from experience in working in film. It is quite often far more difficult to rig a gag, as I believe they call it, than the public imagines. Say the script calls for wine spilled on a dress, and the director needs numerous takes. This will require numerous dresses. I'm just making this up as an example. It might not be appropriate for your substance, but you get the idea. Lots of unusual situations occur in film and TV commercial scripts and story boards that are very difficult to achieve in real life.

    I used to work on food shoots for magazines. Forget truth in advertising, they doctored those gorgeously browned turkeys and bright green Brussel Sprouts with secret potions.

    I'm sure there are companies local to where you live who shoot commercials or independent films. Take your BTW, FABULOUS, photos and see if you can get an interview. You might be surprised.

    The photos are terrific, and works of art in themselves. Love them.

    1. Just last week I got a green light to set up a retail display featuring one of my drinks. I told the manager that I could move some obscure and pricey liqueurs by displaying a realistic example next to the cocktail's history and and the products themselves. Sales will get tracked. My goal is to sell these to retailers.

  17. This is the same concept as those plastic sushi display samples? How clever. To prove they are real, or rather are not real, you might show one of them held at an angle in midair. Just a thought.