Henry: "Isoelectronic" is a perfectly fine concept. No need for you to feel it's inadequate. I'll give you an even easier example. We can play the same game with carbon, nitrogen, and oxygen:
[Henry sketches the Lewis structures for N2 and CO]:
Henry: That's your little Maxwell's Demon, moving a proton and a neutron from one side to the other. There's no net loss or gain, but rather just a transfer.
Me: Are you pushing electrons too?
Henry: No! The electrons haven't moved yet but they feel the polarization: suddenly there's an extra charge on the oxygen side and one less charge on the carbon side. The electrons rearrange, being drawn slightly closer to the oxygen, but not completely, and the carbon, having less positive nuclear charge, is polarized negatively by the electrons. The molecules electron's are polarized like this: